the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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