I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
