im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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