why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
