She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
