So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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