idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
