I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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