Jerry, you need to find god
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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