can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
