when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Still dying that you shit outside
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
