Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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