You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
