We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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