Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
