I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't turn off my feet"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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