I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
