Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
