He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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