am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
