I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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