i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
