i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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