He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
