hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
this is an emotional support booty call
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
