My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
