I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
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