i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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