My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
