i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
