i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
