My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize