You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
