need another drink. this is the easiest way
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
