I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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