Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
