so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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