Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
