My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Small penises have feelings too.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
