Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
