I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
