so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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