You just made me feel so damn special
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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