why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
