it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
