everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
