I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
