Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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