i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
