is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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